what's wrong with this picture?

It's Friday night (okay, technically Saturday morning now, but anyhow). I left work at 11:30 PM. I was at work so late because I was finishing up a diagram detailing the floor plan of our new offices. (This was an actual task for work, not just something for fun.) I was creating the diagram in Visio (as requested). Although I naturally ran into annoyances working with Visio, I was not at work so late because Visio was giving me a hard time. Rather, I started working on the diagram in the late afternoon, and after figuring out it would be easier to build it wall-by-wall instead of using the room shapes, I was voluntarily staying late because it was going well. Also, I wanted to have most of it done for Monday, since it really wasn't an all-day task. Also, I didn't feel that I had anything better to do.

Ah, that's what's wrong: I didn't feel I had anything better to do on a Friday night than voluntarily stay late at work using Visio to create a diagram that was not urgently required. This isn't the first time I've felt that way, either.

Of course, that feeling isn't necessarily well-founded. I certainly could have come home early in the evening, made dinner (oh yes, I never ate), and done a number of other things, including reading one of the various books I have going, watching a DVD, finishing one of the mix CDs I've been toying with for months, or even working on one of my game ideas. I also could have tried calling a few friends, but that's part of the reason for my moodiness: it seems so unusual for any of them, even the ones without kids, to be reachable, free, and interested in hanging out on the spur of the moment. Now, that's not a fair complaint at all: I didn't actually try calling anyone, so I have no idea what opportunities I may have missed; and I rarely even try calling some of them, so it's hardly their fault if I don't make the attempt to get together. Still, that's how I feel tonight, and how I've been feeling a lot lately.

That may be what's pushed me to finally pay for a Yahoo Personals subscription. You can create a profile for free, which I did back in April, but you have to pay for a subscription in order to send messages to other people. I had bookmarked a few people, but hadn't yet tried contacting anyone. However, another free part of the service is that they send you a weekly report of profiles matching your search parameters, and this past Sunday's report included a promising woman I hadn't seen before. We seem to have a fair amount in common to start from, and she's cute, so I decided it was time to give it a try, and I sent her a message late Wednesday night. She hasn't responded yet, but I figure I need to allow a few days, though I've both tried to prepare myself for disappointment and also started feeling disappointed. This wouldn't be the first time nothing's come from my efforts to contact women whose profiles seem compatible, but it's still discouraging every time. Anyhow, now that I've paid for a subscription, I'll have to keep trying, starting with the other profiles I've already bookmarked.

Another thing I never did was sign up to volunteer with KEXP, as I discussed doing back in April. I did have the surgery coming up at the time, and then time to recover, but still, I've long since been well enough and I should've signed up by now, especially as this week was their last pledge drive of the year. I'll really have to make a point of signing up this weekend, although it'll feel odd to me considering the pledge drive just ended. But as Brandon (judaicdiablo) pointed out recently (and as I already knew), with my passion for various sorts of rock music, I need to find a group of people who share my enthusiasm, because that's my best prospect for meeting someone who'll be interested in me. I can't think of any better way to find such a group -- besides going to shows, where it's too easy to keep to myself -- than volunteering for KEXP. I need to try to make that happen.