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I've been having a rough weekend, mentally and emotionally. Serious financial problems are looming menacingly, and my apathy or depression or aversion to dealing with them (and finding more work) is still holding me back. I've also been running useless circles in my mind over uncertain relationships, unable to get the answers I need. Those are the reasons why I didn't get a post written yesterday—I was babysitting for friends, and once the kid went to bed, all I wanted to do was doze on the couch as well, not feeling happy and not having any good ideas for things to write.
Of course, the weekend wasn't all bad either, and part of the reason I just wanted to doze was because I'd been up and active later than usual the night before (Friday)—my friends Blake (from the band Hotels) and Jenny were DJing at a bar called Hazlewood in Ballard, and I decided to go check out their set. I wasn't sure that I'd stay very long, but I ended up having such a good time that I stayed until closing, long after the buses that would get me home stop running. So I walked home, after helping Jenny (with Blake) get her records back to her place, which meant I wasn't home until 3 AM.
I've actually been doing somewhat better with my sleeping hours lately, too, which may be another reason why I was so tired. I was getting to bed regularly between 1:30 and 2, and getting up by 9:30. This week I have to start getting up earlier, because by the following week I'll be doing my weeklong full-time post-membership-drive data auditing job at KEXP and I'll need to be there by 9:30, not simply getting up at that time.
Another thing I've been doing in the past week is finally reading Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, by David Burns, which is one of the self-help books that's been on my list of things to do (or read in this case). Its basic premise is that negative thoughts, based on irrational or distorted views of the world, create bad moods and depression, and learning to identify and counteract these distorted thoughts with more reasonable outlooks will make you feel better. There's definitely some good stuff in there, and I think it will help. For the most part I haven't yet tried any of the specific techniques other than being more aware when I'm having negative thoughts that may be distortions, but I'll have to pick some out. I was reading a chapter each night before bed, but missed the past couple nights as I've been up late doing other things; however, I'm sure that's coincidental to my weekend feeling rough.
I also seem to be developing, or to have developed, a minor chest/throat congestion, which is annoying, particularly as I've got several shifts to do for the KEXP Summer Membership Drive this week. Hopefully it'll clear up tomorrow rather than get worse.
Of course, the weekend wasn't all bad either, and part of the reason I just wanted to doze was because I'd been up and active later than usual the night before (Friday)—my friends Blake (from the band Hotels) and Jenny were DJing at a bar called Hazlewood in Ballard, and I decided to go check out their set. I wasn't sure that I'd stay very long, but I ended up having such a good time that I stayed until closing, long after the buses that would get me home stop running. So I walked home, after helping Jenny (with Blake) get her records back to her place, which meant I wasn't home until 3 AM.
I've actually been doing somewhat better with my sleeping hours lately, too, which may be another reason why I was so tired. I was getting to bed regularly between 1:30 and 2, and getting up by 9:30. This week I have to start getting up earlier, because by the following week I'll be doing my weeklong full-time post-membership-drive data auditing job at KEXP and I'll need to be there by 9:30, not simply getting up at that time.
Another thing I've been doing in the past week is finally reading Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, by David Burns, which is one of the self-help books that's been on my list of things to do (or read in this case). Its basic premise is that negative thoughts, based on irrational or distorted views of the world, create bad moods and depression, and learning to identify and counteract these distorted thoughts with more reasonable outlooks will make you feel better. There's definitely some good stuff in there, and I think it will help. For the most part I haven't yet tried any of the specific techniques other than being more aware when I'm having negative thoughts that may be distortions, but I'll have to pick some out. I was reading a chapter each night before bed, but missed the past couple nights as I've been up late doing other things; however, I'm sure that's coincidental to my weekend feeling rough.
I also seem to be developing, or to have developed, a minor chest/throat congestion, which is annoying, particularly as I've got several shifts to do for the KEXP Summer Membership Drive this week. Hopefully it'll clear up tomorrow rather than get worse.
